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Igor Kocharyan. Catch your wave


   Since childhood, the word “quarantine” has been associated with me exclusively with something positive - you don’t need to go to school, which means that no one controls homework, you do it whatever you want, and during the holidays it was not announced at all. For the first time in my life, and not only in mine, this quarantine is not like that.

     Yes, of course, children still enjoy the opportunity to do their own thing, but this indefinite quarantine requires real isolation. Everyone's plans, work, business and habitual way of life are under threat. Even if we do not get sick, for the sake of the safety of ourselves and our loved ones, we give up the usual. To the five months of a protracted autumn, a spring of self-isolation and depressing news every day have been added. How can you stay mentally healthy? But people are adapting, life is getting better, and under these conditions, new old familiar destructive strategies work. On the Internet, one can observe the conflict between the “pro-social” participants in the self-isolation project and the “egoists” who are defending their freedom and who do not agree with the quarantine, who readily find fault with each other. People spend their energy as best they can: participate in a variety of online activities, flash mobs, endlessly procrastinate news and rumors from the front line of the fight against infection, etc. At the same time, the level of anxiety is increasing for many. How to live constructively?

I will share my experience. A few years ago, I was already in forced self-isolation - I fell, injured my knee and, with a plaster cast, fell out of my usual life for a month. I had many plans for projects that required my personal participation, which had to be postponed. I was surprised to find that my attention sharply focused on issues for which there was little time before - I began to master Youtube and my ability to create psychological video content. I wrote texts, shot grueling takes over and over again (I could not get the necessary image, intonation, diction, etc. from myself), mounted. At that moment, I experienced a very important experience - I felt the strength in myself that I could not be stopped if I wanted something. As the saying goes, if they don't let me through the door, I'll get through the window and find a solution.

    The principle of positive thinking, which is so necessary for us in a difficult situation, is reflected in the saying “there is no bad without good” (“famously not without good”). This means that you should look for its reverse side in every negative event and in something we will definitely find a positive. This is the basis of the philosophy of the Japanese martial art - aikido, the principles of which are reflected in the social art of psychological aikido. Even if they want to hit you, there is a positive moment - for this the aggressor must make a sharp movement and lose his balance for a while, which an experienced fighter will certainly take advantage of, not interfering, but helping the potential offender to finally lose his foothold and collapse to the ground, causing damage to himself, proportionate to the effort they put in. A couple more such efforts and there will be no trace of the desire to cause harm. The main thing is not to go against the "wave" (force majeure circumstances), but to use its energy to achieve goals. By the time this quarantine began, I was also worried about projects that were supposed to start just at that time.

        С учетом безопасности участников мы стартовали группу встреч в online. A week later, I thought it was absurd. Conducted online counseling, supervision too, but a group of meetings, which has always been associated with real real communication, joint gatherings in a cafe after, with the opportunity to feel each other and hug. Not only was I not ready, but the participants did not even imagine it. It turned out that this is a new extremely useful format. Now I am holding several groups of meetings, lectures and consultations for students and people in need of psychological support, all online. And I am happy, because the dream of doing what I love, without being tied to a physical location, has become closer to me.

      We will definitely survive this virus, and if we become stronger, smarter, more capable, then restored and we will definitely be happier. I'm sure everyone has a chance to "catch their own wave"!

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